Wednesday, November 7, 2007


it's his little glance that i remember tonight, i was still drained for some reason, a wounded pride or a broken ego. I cannot recall what was the real ground, really, all i know is.. that trivial glance was actually the beginning of the story about the love that never was.
when i was little,my idea of love and broken heart could happen only in a heading called relationship. I call it love if it is shared with somebody, broken heart if the love's not given in return. That was anyway, a product of juvenile thoughts. Not could happen in many different ways, even the love that never was. It never was because it only materialized and shared for a moment in the mind and perceptions. Not formally. Not in a relationship. Not in a commitment. Or.. if it really existed, it was matter between him and his feelings, me and mine, never between us.
strange...because though were not a pair, but we both have cared, we both counted the cost. We didn't share that love methodically by having affinity but somehow, love grew. Though it only exist in our dreams but we're both aware of each other's existence... and potentials that are not yet realized. It only ran in the mind but we still managed to create something rare and that's what made it special. We have seen each other at our best and worst in daily association and in practical living. We created a thought that our company could be sustained over a period of time w/o becoming repulsive or boresome if not with the opposite statute that we both steadfastly hold. So we just felt the magic for a while and in the next moment, feel the force of moving away. It injures... but loving him is a thing i couldn't change yet and maybe not in a long, long while. But this feeling is mine to keep, it will never become his.
Just a thought that if these things happened when I was little, maybe i cried. Maybe I remorsed and regret, maybe I died. Because those were the times when I cannot appreciate the many values in life. Those were the times when I wasn't ready yet to admit defeat, when I haven't yet felt the great desire to do something larger like getting hurt and mending it alone but still keeping those well-deserved peace of mind. Now, I put emphasis on the challenging times because if it's not for this, I'm not the one who I am now. The love that never was and the pain provide strength that proved my self-worth, my individuality and trademark of courage that gave meaning to my existence...and I'm proud I've been to that long, long way that others failed to see.
Now, I'm rechanelling all negative thoughts and emotions, for self-preservation, for moving on. The story of the little glance is very trivial to tell. But it's going to be kept through the years until new love chooses me again. That must be real, pure and genuine... The love that everybody longs for, the love that really exist, the love that lasts for a lifetime. Like a little dead leaf from an old tree, the little glnce will be forgotten, the love that never was will just pass by...


It was once announced that the devil was going out of business and would offer his tools for sale, to whoever would pay the price.
On the night of the sale, they were all attractively displayed, even so they were a bad lot.
Malice, hatred, envy, jealousy, sensuality - and all the otherimplements of evil were spread each marked with a price. Apart from the rest lay a harmless wedge-shaped tool much word and priced higher than any of the others.
Someone asked the devil, "What is that?"
"That is Discouragement" replied the Devil.
"Why do you have priced it so high?" the prospective purchaser inquired
"Because," said the devil, "it is more useful to me than any of the others. I can pry into a man's conscience with that when I cannot get near him with any other tool I possess."
"Once I get into his mind with Discouragement, I can use him in whatever way which suits him best. The reason this tool is so much worn is that I can use it with nearly everyone, as very few people knew it belongs to me."
It hardly needs to be added that the devil's price for Discouragement was so high that it never sold.
He still owns it, and uses it.


One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students, and to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. Here is how he made his point: As he stood in front of the group of high-powered achievers, he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time into a jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "is this jar full?"
Everyone in the class said "Yes" then he said, "Really?"
He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, "Is this jar full?"
By this time, the class was onto him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good," he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more, he asked the question "Is this jar full?"
"No", the class shouted. Once again, he said,"Good!"
Then he grabbed a picture of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brin. Then he looked up at the class and asked, "What is the point of this full illustration?"
One eager bearer raised his hand and said, "The point is,no matter how full your schedule is, if you really try hard, you can fit some more things into it."
"No," the speaker replied. "That is not the point."
The truth this illustration teaches us is, if you don't put the big rocks first, you'll never get them in at all."
What are the big rocks in your life?
Time with your loved ones? Your faith? Your education? Your dreams? A worthy cause?
Remember to put these 'big rocks' first or you'll never get them in at all.
So tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the big rocks in my life? Then put those in your jar first.