Friday, October 26, 2007


I can hardly open my eyes - something tells me to carry on my perfect slumber yet the graceful zephyr effortlessly caught me on its hook and brought me back to wakefulness.
I hate cold mornings.
It wakes me up from my peaceful sleep - only to find out it's still hours early before sunrise.
As I sit on my bed, I felt a soft chill up my spine that made my stomach hurt a little.
It's because of this recurring feeling that my world would suddenly stop, shutting on its own, making my ears sound-proof - undisturbed from all the noises of the outside world.
This nostalgia would make me reel about uncertain thoughts of the past and haunt me into an endless whirl of melancholy.
It's because of these feelings that my mind would seem to be frozen and time would appear to be absurd.
I'm not so sure if this is a wonderful or a drastic feeling .
The answer to that question doesn't seem to appear in my episodic memory.
Billions of vague thoughts would zap into my brainwaves, questions left unanswered, actions left unexpressed - like a stone wall being put on my back.
Carrying this massive, invisible load is a stab in every breath I take, a whip to my wounded soul.
Somehow, I have beared the pain... I became numb and it made me feel invincible.
I went on through life like an actor on a stage, wearing a cheerful mask to hide a rotting flesh.
Thus, the monotony had actually consumed every bit of vitality left in my nerves and has dried up my bones.
Life can't get less boring. Everyday is just a habitual stupor and everything else will just be a blur of hazy images.
Maybe it was my fault to act this way- keeping a poker face on top of a heart that's being ripped into shreds.
Like a snow-capped mountain, I am fearlessly cold.
Like a startled ferret, I run hiding into my hole.
Isn't it ironic to be bold and coward at the same time? When you think big but feel less?
Who knows? A helpless heart may be lying at the insides of a hideous monster.
I feel a tingling chill up my spine again - but this time, the weather has nothing to do with it.

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